Sergio, The Masters……..(and me)……

I’m sure I share everyone’s sentiments when I say this — FUCK YEAH SERGIO — good for you…I actually cried…If anyone deserved to win a major after all the shit he’s taken over the years, it’s this guy…Granted, I would’ve liked to have seen a bit more drama with a few more guys in contention going down the stretch or Sergio holing his putt on 18 in regulation (I think he would’ve even showed more emotion..), but as I told a client, The Masters NEVER disappoints…Now go win a few more majors Serg and completely shut up all the idiots who disrespected you over the years….

Okay, now it’s story time (I know, everyone’s favorite..)…I had the privilege of attending a practice round at The Masters in 2012…and everything you hear from the commentators about how TV doesn’t do the course justice is absolutely correct.  It’s much greener than you could ever imagine.  The slopes and hilliness of the fairways isn’t done justice on the tube.  The bunkers are shinier and glisten like diamonds in the sun.   And the greens would be fucking impossible to putt because of the severe undulations and slopes…If heaven had a golf course, it would be Wolf Creek in Mesquite, Nevada…but if God didn’t have a few mountains to build a course into and around, it would be Augusta National…This is, of course, only my expert opinion…Others may differ…

So, a buddy of mine (we’ll call him Ricky) show up at some destination near our hotel to catch a bus early Tuesday morning hungover as shit after attending Hooters the night before (watching the National Championship basketball game) featuring all the hottest Hooters chicks around the country…they didn’t disappoint, let me assure you…I had a crush on a girl with 8 letters in her first name, only 1 was a vowel…and she was American…Anyway, we stumbled our way around the course for an hour or so just trying to drink enough water so we could actually piss for the first time all morning…not sure that happened til about noon…Eventually we wandered onto the 14th tee box where we noticed Sergio and Luke Donald putting on 13 green…we figured we would camp out there for a while to watch some players tee off to see just how far they hit it and make us wonder why we even waste our time playing the game…we were right there within about 10 feet of the them…pretty fucking cool…After putzing/putting around on 13 green, Sergio and Luke finally made their way to the tee…everyone claps and stares at the players like they’re from a different planet…but they’re not…just normal human beings like you and me…except they get to play golf on TV…Without blinking for probably a minute, I notice Sergio look up directly at me, we make eye contact, and he sort of smiles/snickers and looks away…Whatever…He then turns to Donald and says something (I have no idea what was said, but I can infer it was something to the tune of, ‘Hey man, check out the guy in the blue shirt over there, he looks just like you..’)…Donald then pulls the ‘I’m not going to make it obvious I’m looking at this person’, takes a second or two, then slowly turns and looks in my direction at me…of course, I’m staring directly at him because that’s what us fans do…we make eye contact, he sort of shakes his head and smiles/snickers just like his bud Sergio…Sergio is still smiling and says, ‘Your lookalike, right…’ Donald just laughs…I swear to God, this happened…Ricky can verify it…now the ironic part is I’d been told by a few people that I looked like Luke Donald back in the day…this was when I had my hair highlighted, and so did Luke…I’ll let you guys decide below…

Here’s Luke…
Here’s me…after winning the Ashburn Amateur Public Links Championship back in 2011…a very proud moment I must say…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmmm…I see some similarities at least….

After getting over spotting the Donald ‘lookalike, Luke proceeded to hit a tee shot that if you drew a straight line down the middle of the fairway, his ball would’ve stayed on it nearly 275 yards until it hit the ground…then it rolled a bit right because of the slope I talked about earlier…Sergio then hit a ball that I can’t remember where the hell it went…all I know is it was higher and farther than any ball I’ve personally ever hit in 30 years of playing golf…As the boys were leaving the tee, I said, ‘2017 Sergio, 2017 buddy…that’s your year…’  Sergio, as usual, smiled, gave me a thumbs up, and continued walking to his ball about 2 miles up the fairway…I wonder if he remembers my prediction……

Alright gym losers, that’s enough of the ‘Bodybuilding.com’ apparel…you’re not a fucking bodybuilder, you’ll never be a bodybuilder, and nor should you ever want to be a bodybuilder…and there’s my fitness thought of the day…

 

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Sergio, The Masters……..(and me)……

  1. I actually had tix Weds and couldn’t use them due to needing to be in Chicago for work. I more closely resemble John Daly. You see the video of him driving a ball off of a beer while smoking and then chugging the beer? That’s my kind of golfer.

  2. Absolutely true story except it In think it was #7 tee and it is Rickie… C’mon Jon, you should know better!

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