Category Archives: Exercises…

THE CROSSFIT GAMES…

…WOW…what a SPECTACLE this SHIT is…the brute strength, speed, determination, flexibility, power, agility, solitude (whatever..), dexterity, coordination and idiocy these people show…     ….     ….     …… ………  …..   sorry, I just needed some of my trademark to collect my thoughts here…Really…like I want to see these people doing thousands of shitty-ass pull-ups and running around in their matching tank-tops and tight-fit shorts (females not included..) racing to beat the clock after performing a few hundred clean-and-jerks and jumping jacks …it’s obviously a ‘dead’ season in sports, so I can understand why this shit is put on the air…I know, being an athlete myself, there were certain achievements I was proud of…I won’t deny it…I remember being a sophomore in college and maxing out on the bench at 125lbs…Man, I was proud…almost got the 45lb plates on each side…or hitting my longest drive on the golf course just a few years ago…it was downwind and downhill, but that fucker went at least 185 yards…and it was fucking straight too…but there was never a time in my functional life that I was required to carry a some sort of thousand-pound boulder an excessive distance to try and place it on a shelf above shoulder height (I know dipshits/haters, this is a ‘Strongman’ competition event..or perhaps it is part of your stupid competition…whatever..)…who does this shit…and who cares…The funny thing is I’ve never watched a fucking second of these ‘Games’…people text me asking if I’m watching and I just laugh…no thanks…watching Jordan Spieth cut a 190-yard 6-iron through a 4-inch gap in the trees fulfills all my entertainment needs…I spent my life in fitness and met so many great people…and I’m truly grateful…I traveled to so many great places because of them…played golf courses I should never step foot on…but you know what, the Crossfit Games…I can really give a…..

…about…

It’s called having a sense of humor people…you should try and get one if you find this offensive…I feel bad for you as well…

Finish the deal Zach…finish the fucking deal…

 

 

 

 

 

Poor John-John….

Remember this guy…

Well, this guy has moved on and has a much better life now…and I have a much worse life now…I’m totally selfish and wish I can still come home after work to see Deuce super-excited, wagging his tail frantically and performing his little spin-around multiple times as I tried to put the leash on him to take him for a walk…I miss seeing him get outside and want to take off running after being in my place all day by himself…I even miss watching him curiously pick his spot, spin around slowly a time or two to position himself into perfect pooping position (he really had great form..), pin his ears back, and then as he’s doing his business, embarrassingly look up at me to make sure I wasn’t looking…of course I was though (like a dick) because I liked seeing his sheepish face…I would quickly turn away thinking he didn’t see me…I know he did though…I even miss grabbing the shit-bags and slowly bending over to….okay, okay, I’m rambling now…I sure as heck didn’t enjoy that part…

Deuce moved out to the country here in Northern VA about 3 weeks ago to live with his brother on a 12-acre plot of land…well, it’s not just him and his brother…a family took him in to take care of them…It would probably be hard for Deuce and his brother to survive on their own in this day in age…with housing prices the way they are and gas constantly…….Anyway, I’m sure he enjoys chasing his ball in a huge yard compared to chasing it in a 1200-square foot condo…it’s just a hunch on my part…Plus, like I said, he has his brother to play with instead of me and Tim…

Stop looking at their asses…that’s not nice…

I’m sure he’s getting in a bit better shape as well…

Man, I’m beat…those 5 minutes of playing just about killed me…
Selfies are just about fucking impossible to take…I took about 10 of these with him and unbelievably, this is the best one…why do I look like such a dork…

I miss you buddy and hope to see you soon…you brought a lot of joy to my life the past year…

As you wipe the tears out of your eyes, I’ll leave you with something a bit more uplifting.  I witnessed a high school/college (whatever..) kid perform some pretty damn good push-ups the other day at the gym…and if I’m saying that, they must’ve been good, huh…after watching him crank out about 25-30 with ease, he decided to seek out the aid of his  workout partner to place a whole, fucking 10-lb plate on his back for his next couple sets…his 160-or-so pound frame performed the push-ups just as easily as without the extra poundage…I respected the kid before he turned into a typical jackass by pulling off that stunt…

And lastly, sorry Deuce, I love ya, but you’ll never take the place of this guy…this is my childhood dog growing up —- RAMBO —- a very fitting name…

Beware of approaching him though…unless you were introduced when he was young…or you were a hot female…he never seemed to mind them…

It’s certainly not Masters weekend, but US Open Saturday and Sunday is pretty damn good too…

Happy Father’s Day to the 3 fathers who read this…

 

 

400 METERS TO GO…

…how I look forward to hearing those words from the little lady inside my I-Pod telling me my morning run is coming to a close…(there’s a little man inside as well, but I choose the more soothing female voice..)…At this point, I’m usually so exhausted, I can’t wait to finish…isn’t this exercise shit supposed to get easier the more you do it…Anyway, I always think 400 meters, that’s about 40 seconds or so and I’ll be home…And then I laugh (not out loud because I’m so out of breath, I would probably choke and collapse..) because my mind always wanders to the 100 Meter sprinters like Usain Bolt (look, twice Mr. Bolt has made the No Sweat blog..) who run the 100M dash in under 10 seconds…I only have 400 meters to go, so if you do the math, even if I’m not quite as fast as those robot freak sprinters, I’ll be done in at least under a minute…then about 40 seconds go by and the bitch still hasn’t told me I have 300 meters to go…what the hell is going on here I think..??  Then I realize I’m Gammar, and not Usain…I guess I’ll have to trudge along for well over 40 seconds to reach my destination…I think this every time she tells me ‘400 meters to go’, today I finally decided to share with you…Thank God, right…

Let’s get back to the ‘running never gets easier’ thing…You know what, it never gets any ‘funner’ either…it should be a word, we’ve all used it…I certainly don’t enjoy going out every Saturday morning to run my whatever distance I choose that particular day…whether it be 5 miles, no fun…11 miles, still no fun…any distance, zero fun…It is a good time though to get some quality thinking done as my I-Pod shuffles my favorite songs…2 normal length 4-minute-or-so songs should get me to a mile before the 2nd one ends…if not, I’m being a lazy ass and not pushing myself…God, I hope I hit a good drive to begin my round today…why the fuck can’t the Caps beat the Penguins in the playoffs year after year…if I was a die-hard Caps fan, I would kill myself if they lose this year (please don’t do it Tim…)…$65K seems a bit pricey for a Mertuzzi piece of art work, but it would look perfect in my foyer…who would want a snake as a pet (I saw this video on Facebook where a girl was sleeping with a blanket up to her neck…someone slowly pulls the blanket away revealing one of those albino pythons curled up on her stomach and chest…I expected her to jump in utter fear, like I would have X 100 and never recovered, but she opened her eyes, smiled, and petted the slimy, evil thing…and the snake seemed pleased by the kind gesture…are you fucking kidding me..)…These are some of the random thoughts that go through my mind as I pace out my morning run…they certainly don’t make it any easier though…but at least I’m entertaining myself…

Did I mention how I hate running in humidity…I’m still sweating and I finished about 2 hours ago…I’m sure they’ll be a plethora of dumb-asses who will be out pounding the pavement this afternoon in the 90-degree, 150% humidity Virginia heat…I salute the effort, but you’re not very smart to do something so idiotic…go get yourself a Slushie…

Happy Sabado!!

WillPower and Wrastling…

With my last few posts focusing on anything but fitness (that’s really not true…wrestling is sort of fitness-related), it got me thinking about one of the most popular topics in the health and fitness industry — losing weight.  And basically my thoughts were, ya know, just do it.  We did it as immature, irresponsible kids, why can’t mature, responsible adults do it.  I can’t remember anyone on my team or the opposing team for that matter ever being overweight and not being able to compete.  Just fucking do what you have to do and shed a few pounds.  Ya think I wanted to get up and run 5 miles this morning before finishing writing this…I know a friend out West who probably doubled my mileage after drinking 5 or 6 cosmos last night without batting an eye (I think that’s the right expression..)…I remember my Mom always saying I had great ‘willpower’ during wrestling season…one can define that however one wants, but I always thought of it as being able to contain myself and not overeat or drink…A client gave me some Girlscout cookies a few weeks ago…I could easily have eaten the entire box in one sitting (really isn’t that much…they really should put more in those boxes for the price), but I don’t…I have a few at a time and that’s that…

I’m actually glad I went on my run this morning as I remembered what I came up with a few weeks ago when thinking about writing this post.  How about this scenario — Every time a person goes to a trainer for advice to lose weight, they immediately go to their local bank afterward.  If a person tells the trainer they want to lose 20 pounds in a few months, then their bank account is deducted $1000 every week they don’t lose at least a pound.  And there’s no backing out of the initial agreement.  Ya think that’ll motivate some people to stick to what their trainer or just common sense tells them.  I guarantee more results with my plan…

Not to beat a dead horse here, but I’ll always remember an overweight client telling me 2 things years ago.  She’s a person who did every class known to man, belonged to 4 gyms, tried every diet, yada, yada, yada…’I can’t do cardio John, it’s too boring’ and ‘I can’t get up before 8 o’clock to exercise, I’m too tired’…I can’t believe you’re so fucking lazy is what I wanted to say…I didn’t though…People like her have no chance and deserve to called the 3-letter ‘f’ word…she’s fat, and always will be…don’t take offense…

I know a Serbian amateur star tennis player who lost 25-30 lbs in 6 months no problem.  Ya know why, she worked her ass off and started eating better.  I’ve been friends with a guy who I’ve given endless advice and training over the years only to see his weight yo-yo up and down without ever coming close to reaching his goal.  Within the past 18 months, after finally bearing down on his eating and exercising, he’s lost close to 40 lbs and I can barely recognize the skinny fuck…and I say that in the nicest way possible.  Our good friend QOS on the site here squatted and ran/hobbled her way to earning the name ‘skinny’ from me within months of us initially meeting.  For some reason, these people give credit to me, but I did absolutely nothing besides keep them company while they worked their ass off.  It can be done people, just go and do it…..

Okay, okay…that’s enough of this serious shit…You all know how much I love sports of all kinds.  March Madness this time of year is fantastic, football is always king, and I’ll even delve into the NBA and NHL playoffs when they start in a few weeks.  And who cannot wait for the greatest 4-day event in sports which starts in a few weeks.  With all that said, last Saturday night was 3 of the greatest hours of sports I’ve ever watched.  And it wasn’t March Madness…It was the NCAA Wrestling Championships.  Granted, I’m biased…Penn State crowned 5 straight individual National Champions to end the night and ran away with the team championship to make it 6 of the last 7 years.  Just the way shit went down made it all so awesome…I’ve had a bunch of wrestling (not Penn State fans per se) fans say the same thing.  There were upsets and plenty of drama around every corner…Even people who know nothing about the sport would’ve enjoyed it…I guarantee that…

The one example that came to mind when I thought about other great sporting events was watching Tiger play on a broken leg (not known at the time) in the 2008 US Open in primetime.  Nothing better than watching Tiger and a Major tournament when it’s dark outside and the beers are flowing…Denise, Vinny and Lori shared this great evening as Tiger rolled in two 50+ feet eagle putts and then chipped in from off the green on another occasion late in the round for good measure.  It was just a sick display of golf…This is when Tiger was still Tiger and none of his scandal was out in the open yet…And his back was not that of an 85-year old…One can only hope we can have another ‘Tiger’ moment like this again…

I’ll stop rambling and leave you with the highlight of the evening last Saturday…Here’s the set-up — The guy counting the lights (wrestling expression) in orange was a 2-time NCAA champion as a junior…the guy that made him count the light fixtures is a true freshman from some Pennsylvania school…I would’ve sent you the entire match, but only about 3 of ya would watch all 8 minutes…kinda wish they gave us a bit more though…pretty cool shit nonetheless…

I wish there was a camera on what me and my buddy did after this happened…well, then again, maybe not…

Hoping Zags and Ducks today…

Tommy Terrific + Headbutt…

Okay, first of all, the link to the video on my last post was ‘Falcons’ located directly below the text colored in red…Didn’t we all learn that when something is in a different color, you probably can ‘click’ on it as it’s a link to something else…Apparently some people didn’t as I received multiple replies asking where the video was shortly after I posted…it’s there people, just put a little effort in…or simply be lazy and click below…

CLICK HERE…

For those of you who were clever enough to figure out I don’t make mistakes here at the site and did include the link, you might be asking for a bit of clarification on why that hideous display took place.  Well, here’s your cliff-notes version…I realize 95% of the people who read this probably haven’t seen more than 5 ‘amateur’ wrestling matches in their lives…if any for that matter…I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but most wrestling bouts don’t end with one competitor viciously head-butting another…Again, hard to believe, but true…The ‘head-butter’ (really not a good wrestler by the way, just athletic and strong..) won the match 8-3, but upon completion, got up and immediately yelled, ‘he bit me, he fucking (his words, not mine..) bit me..’  Got in the ‘biters’ (apparently) face and you saw the rest…Under normal circumstances, we would have checked the wrestler’s hand or arm (usually the spots it occurs) to see if a bite really did happen (again, a rarity).  In this case though, we had no chance as the assault happened immediately…within seconds it seemed, the ‘head-butter’s parents were on the mat (along with the rest of the gym) acting all ‘black’ trying to defend their idiot son…our job as referees was to get the kid off the mat and out of the gym as fast as possible to make sure nothing else escalated…the wrestler who was ‘attacked’ (probably a good word choice) went straight down on his back immediately and stayed there for about 5 minutes…he eventually got up and suffered a broken nose…he did wrestle last week in the Regional tournament where he finished 5th and will advance to the State tournament this coming weekend…I actually reffed his 5th place match and wanted to forcefully shove my whistle either into my eye socket or down my throat to avoid having to watch such a God-awful match…it was one of the worst displays of wrestling I’d ever seen as neither kid attempted a takedown for 6+ minutes…and to think both of them are in the ‘State’ tournament this weekend…Pennsylvania wrestling, Virginia is certainly not…Sorry, back to the story…As you could expect, the ‘head-butter’ was called for flagrant misconduct and immediately kicked out of the tournament and wasn’t able to wrestle this past weekend…The ironic/idiotic thing is the kid’s coach tried to justify his actions and wanted the other kid kicked out as well for biting…that discussion between him and myself lasted about 6 seconds as I was in disbelief of what he was saying…Things calmed down within 10 minutes and order was restored to finish the tournament…Had a nice conversation with a police officer last week as charges are being filed…Hmmm, cliff-notes version, huh…well, at least you know what happened now…

Speaking of which, did anyone see what happened 2 days later in Houston on the football field…you know what happened, ‘Sports’ happened…fucking again…and it was great…I’ll be the first to admit, I was rooting for the Falcons, along with the rest of the world who weren’t born in Massachusetts…and thought for sure they had that game won midway through the 3rd quarter…who didn’t…but then the unthinkable happened and we were all left to watch the greatest meltdown in Super Bowl history…it was very difficult to watch, but truly what makes sports great time after time…I wonder if any of the Falcons have slept since that game…you really blew it guys…3rd and 1 and the only thing that couldn’t happen happened…Matt Ryan fumbled after a missed block and the Falcons train went off the track for the next 90 minutes for us to watch in horror…Okay, I’m done with this subject…

Next…everyone’s favorite QB, Tom Brady…or Tommy Brady…why don’t we ever call him Thomas…I bet his birth certificate says ‘Thomas’…or how about ‘Mike’ Jordan…or ‘Jeffrey’ Gordon…or ‘Joe’ Addai…or ‘Phillip’ Mickelson…or ‘Dave’ Taylor (3 people will get this one)…just shit I randomly think about…no need to discuss further…

And here’s your fitness lesson for the month — Yesterday I decided to do something different at the gym to keep me from killing myself out of sheer boredom…so here’s what I did…20 sets of chest, 10 sets of shoulders and 10 sets of triceps…that seems like a lot, doesn’t it…well, it is, at least for me…I haven’t done that many sets of chest since my college days at East Halls Gym at Penn State…this was all done in about 45 minutes…the high school and college kids who do this much volume take about 4 hours…you know what though, I’m sore as shit today and my chest has expanded 3 inches…So, there’s your free tip — change shit up, do different things, get out of your comfort zone…and stop holding on to the fucking treadmill…

Lastly, I greeted and spoke with 473 complete strangers the other day at work…who says I don’t like people…

2017 Fitness Update…

Since this is supposed to be a ‘fitness’ blog, I thought I’d take a few minutes here to update you on all the New Year’s fitness resolutions I’ve noticed the past 27 days.  Lots of different and interesting stuff out there…

People continually still…

  • Have no fucking idea how to exercise.
  • Don’t care to learn how to exercise correctly and efficiently.
  • Feel the need to hold on incessantly on treadmills and stairmasters.  Yep, cranking the incline up to 26% on the ‘ol treadmill while grasping the display monitor in front of you is absolutely correct and a huge calorie burner.  Take your hands off for 10 seconds and see what happens.  Same goes for the underhand hold on the stairmonster.  Read my book, I go into more depth on this technique there.
  • Lift weights way too fast and not through a full range of motion.  I can spend days on this one…thank God I won’t…
  • Purchase ridiculous matching workout clothes hoping looking good/cool will translate into losing weight, getting stronger, increasing flexibility, or whatever the fuck else they’re trying to accomplish.  Doesn’t work like that dumb-ass(es)…
  • Stand around and talk way too much to each other when they should be exercising.  At least jump on the bike at level 1 and pedal for a few minutes.  Or better yet, hop on the treadmill, push the ‘up’ incline button continually until it maxes out and then take your hands and….you know the rest of the story…
  • Carry around gargantuan water bottles for no apparent reason.
  • Fail to break a sweat even though they’ve been at the gym over an hour now (how is that possible…if you’re actually exercising..)…
  • Invent exercises which have no purpose and couldn’t begin to tell ya why they are performing them and what muscle groups they’re supposed to be engaging.
  • Wear full-length ‘leggings’ under shorts.  Guys only on this one…My God, what you are thinking..??  You look fucking ridiculous…you’re not a professional athlete…and never will be…This seems to be happening more and more…thanks Under Armour for introducing this fine piece of apparel…
  • Show up with…

Okay, okay, you get the point…no need to go on…looks like 2017 is shaping up to produce the same kind of results/characters as 2016 and 2015 and 2014 and…This is shocking to me as I really thought this was the year America turned it around and got their act together fitness-wise…Yeah right…I’m not holding my breath on this one…

Alright, got that out of the way…On to more important shit…I thought the other day about the fact that this was going to be the first weekend in about 5 months where there will be no football to watch and enjoy…and I kind of got a bit depressed…but only for a few minutes…Remember, sports are great…I gave you a few examples why earlier in this blog…Here’s another big reason…

I purposely left out his lower body as his sneakers, and especially, his socks, aren’t to my liking in this outfit…love the shirt and headband though…

How can anyone not like this guy?  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say, ‘Yeah, I’m not a big fan of that Federer guy’…or something of that nature.  Never…He’s a cool cat on the court and although I’ve never personally hung out with him, I’m thinking he’s pretty cool off the court as well…I’ve never played competitive tennis, but know an artist on the court when I see one…He’s a joy to watch and hopefully he can win 3 more sets early Sunday morning to claim another Grand Slam title against his arch-rival Rafael Nadal (why him, of all people..)…Great sports story even if you’re not a tennis fan…As well as the William’s sisters making the finals on the other gender’s side…I’d like to see big Sis Venus spank (not literally) little Sis Serena in this one…

The other reason was this guy…

Oh God, where the fuck is that going…..

…and the expression tells it all…Tiger is scheduled to play the next 4 out of 5 weeks barring injury, I guess…For golf fans, even those who dislike Tiger, this is what we want…When Tiger’s playing, ESPN is scrolling his updated score across the bottom of the screen constantly…How about when World #1 Jason Day, or Jordan, or Rory, or Phil are playing…PPP-leaseeee…tune into Sportscenter 20 minutes in, watch 2 great shots they hit on highlights, and then find out their score for the day…Like it or not, Tiger moves the needle, but unless he shoots 66 today (came in with a dazzling 76 yesterday..), the needle will be dry over the weekend because Tiger won’t be joining the field and will be flying to his next tournament still wondering how the fuck to keep his ball in the fairway…And I’ll be severely disappointed…

Clemson/Alabama a few weeks ago…how great was that (Congrats again Paul)…Another prime example of why we love sports…no need for further commentary…

I had a dream the other night that I couldn’t do one push-up…one God-damn push-up…can you believe that…I woke up and actually rolled right out of my bed to the floor just to make sure all my axons, dendrites, muscle spindles, fibers, and mitochondria were still functional and cranked out 3 solid push-ups…take that sub-consciousness (I don’t know what that means either..)…

Oh, I know I made fun of New Year’s Resolutions a few weeks ago…but I actually made one myself, I really did…It’s quite simple — play more golf this year…I had such a great time playing New Year’s Eve in 30-degree, 25MPH winds that I feel it needs to be replicated more in 2017…Dancing around like Justin Bieber listening to my I-pod (while playing) is something no one needs to see besides myself though…Only true ‘readers’ will get that reference…

Lastly, who the fuck orders a chocolate milkshake with extra whip cream to drink at 6:05 in the morning…

Thus concludes my 2017 fitness update…

 

 

HOLY SHIT (again…)

Did you happen to catch what went down in our country last week…Time for me to give you my uncensored thoughts on the subject….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, there ya have it…it happened, deal with it people…

Following up on my last post about why college football rules…glad to see the Gods of the sport rewarded me and rewarded us with a phenomenal Saturday where the numbers 2, 3, and 4th ranked teams all went down…and 2 of them were over 20-point favorites…no sport can compare people, get used to it…

Remember I said I was going to give you some of my bench press rules way back when…well, I kind of got off-track, but I have another for you today, minus the crude sexual references…If you can only do, say 145lbs, 2 times with a real struggle on the 2nd rep, please don’t add another 5 on each side and attempt 155lbs 13 minutes later…we all know you’re not getting past 1 rep if indeed you get that 1 rep…don’t make your spotter throw out his back pulling the bar up onto the rack…and then pretty please don’t add another 5 on each side and attempt……you know where I’m going….this shit actually happens, trust me…and most idiots who do it have tank-tops on…..

I’ll leave you with this — I saw a 60-year old (roughly) man working out with a trainer this morning with a black wrestling singlet on with a lime-green t-shirt underneath…also, a white headband adorned his head with white tube socks pulled half-way up his lower legs with bright red sneakers…I couldn’t turn away to be quite honest with ya…I would say the guy looked like a former wrestler, but his frail 135lb frame didn’t fit the mold…I would’ve been absolutely mortified as the trainer in that situation…You certainly want to earn your $17/hr (remember, this is Gold’s we’re talking about here…), but at the price of having to walk around with that for an hour…Jesus Christ, what would possess someone to go out in public dressed like that…

Oh, sorry, one last thing — can you imagine eating and paying for the same exact breakfast and/or lunch for 8 straight months…oh my God, fucking try something else…(only a select few know why this was written…and how I collected the data…)

Adios amigos…

 

 

The Empire Ninja…

…remember him/that/what the hell is John talking about here..??  Here’s the cliff notes version:  I introduced this loser back on October 1st and then he made another appearance back on April 1st…today’s not the 1st of the month, but he’s back for the attack…he wore a ridiculous Star Wars ‘Empire Lifts Back’ tank-top, only to be topped by a teenage ninja turtles ‘Crush’ t-shirt later on…he’s almost always in a white t-shirt and black shorts, stocky, fairly strong, might have a decent looking girlfriend whom he ignores most of the time, never does legs, never shaves, never cleans his sneakers, loves to bench press, loves to rest adequately between bench press sets, blah, blah blah…remember him..??  Probably not, but that doesn’t matter…

Here’s what I witnessed this morning…I looked up and saw our friend on guess what…the bench press…dressed in his traditional plain white t-shirt, black shorts, and filthy Puma sneakers…I thought to myself, ‘hey, there’s White’…for some reason (well, not really..it would make sense..), I thought I had called him ‘White’, but I didn’t…Anyway, there he was just standing next to the bench with 245lbs on it…as I mentioned, he’s fairly strong…I did my thing (circuit) not paying any attention to Ninja, and noticed him roughly 10 minutes later pretty much standing in the same place, with the same stupid look on his face, with the same amount of weight on the bar…I literally have no idea if he did a set while I was away…Then I noticed IT…next to the right side of the bench sat another pair of his filthy sneakers…red, black and white Asics this time…that seemed strange to me to have those sitting there…Again, I lost track of him, not thinking much of the extra footwear…Later on, while on a treadmill, I noticed Empire walking towards the locker room with the Asics sneakers in his hand…my immediate reaction was to look to the bench he was just standing by…sure enough, the weight was cleared off the bar and it was vacant…A minute or two later, Crush appeared in my view again heading back to the free weight area…wearing the Asics sneakers…no filthy Pumas in sight…Okay, anyone have a fucking explanation for this move…I sure don’t…Do the filthy Pumas help him to recruit more muscle fibers, therefore, making him stronger…Again, I’m one of the few people on planet Earth that would notice this, but thought I’d share it with you…

Last time I promised some bench press rules I personally have, so here’s the first one…You’re not allowed to bench press unless you can at least do a few reps with 135lbs (1 45lb plate on each side of the bar)…the exceptions are humans without testicles and of those humans with testicles, you can’t have been on earth more than 16 years…Let’s face it, if you’re a boy/male and you can’t bench 135 by the time you’re allowed to legally drive, you’re a fucking wimp and don’t deserve to get down the pants of any human with breasts…sorry, I know that’s harsh, but come on, toughen up boys, put on some muscle, and earn your first piece of ass…..

Okay…..bet you can’t wait for the 2nd rule huh……