Category Archives: People’s actions…

Tommy Terrific + Headbutt…

Okay, first of all, the link to the video on my last post was ‘Falcons’ located directly below the text colored in red…Didn’t we all learn that when something is in a different color, you probably can ‘click’ on it as it’s a link to something else…Apparently some people didn’t as I received multiple replies asking where the video was shortly after I posted…it’s there people, just put a little effort in…or simply be lazy and click below…

CLICK HERE…

For those of you who were clever enough to figure out I don’t make mistakes here at the site and did include the link, you might be asking for a bit of clarification on why that hideous display took place.  Well, here’s your cliff-notes version…I realize 95% of the people who read this probably haven’t seen more than 5 ‘amateur’ wrestling matches in their lives…if any for that matter…I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but most wrestling bouts don’t end with one competitor viciously head-butting another…Again, hard to believe, but true…The ‘head-butter’ (really not a good wrestler by the way, just athletic and strong..) won the match 8-3, but upon completion, got up and immediately yelled, ‘he bit me, he fucking (his words, not mine..) bit me..’  Got in the ‘biters’ (apparently) face and you saw the rest…Under normal circumstances, we would have checked the wrestler’s hand or arm (usually the spots it occurs) to see if a bite really did happen (again, a rarity).  In this case though, we had no chance as the assault happened immediately…within seconds it seemed, the ‘head-butter’s parents were on the mat (along with the rest of the gym) acting all ‘black’ trying to defend their idiot son…our job as referees was to get the kid off the mat and out of the gym as fast as possible to make sure nothing else escalated…the wrestler who was ‘attacked’ (probably a good word choice) went straight down on his back immediately and stayed there for about 5 minutes…he eventually got up and suffered a broken nose…he did wrestle last week in the Regional tournament where he finished 5th and will advance to the State tournament this coming weekend…I actually reffed his 5th place match and wanted to forcefully shove my whistle either into my eye socket or down my throat to avoid having to watch such a God-awful match…it was one of the worst displays of wrestling I’d ever seen as neither kid attempted a takedown for 6+ minutes…and to think both of them are in the ‘State’ tournament this weekend…Pennsylvania wrestling, Virginia is certainly not…Sorry, back to the story…As you could expect, the ‘head-butter’ was called for flagrant misconduct and immediately kicked out of the tournament and wasn’t able to wrestle this past weekend…The ironic/idiotic thing is the kid’s coach tried to justify his actions and wanted the other kid kicked out as well for biting…that discussion between him and myself lasted about 6 seconds as I was in disbelief of what he was saying…Things calmed down within 10 minutes and order was restored to finish the tournament…Had a nice conversation with a police officer last week as charges are being filed…Hmmm, cliff-notes version, huh…well, at least you know what happened now…

Speaking of which, did anyone see what happened 2 days later in Houston on the football field…you know what happened, ‘Sports’ happened…fucking again…and it was great…I’ll be the first to admit, I was rooting for the Falcons, along with the rest of the world who weren’t born in Massachusetts…and thought for sure they had that game won midway through the 3rd quarter…who didn’t…but then the unthinkable happened and we were all left to watch the greatest meltdown in Super Bowl history…it was very difficult to watch, but truly what makes sports great time after time…I wonder if any of the Falcons have slept since that game…you really blew it guys…3rd and 1 and the only thing that couldn’t happen happened…Matt Ryan fumbled after a missed block and the Falcons train went off the track for the next 90 minutes for us to watch in horror…Okay, I’m done with this subject…

Next…everyone’s favorite QB, Tom Brady…or Tommy Brady…why don’t we ever call him Thomas…I bet his birth certificate says ‘Thomas’…or how about ‘Mike’ Jordan…or ‘Jeffrey’ Gordon…or ‘Joe’ Addai…or ‘Phillip’ Mickelson…or ‘Dave’ Taylor (3 people will get this one)…just shit I randomly think about…no need to discuss further…

And here’s your fitness lesson for the month — Yesterday I decided to do something different at the gym to keep me from killing myself out of sheer boredom…so here’s what I did…20 sets of chest, 10 sets of shoulders and 10 sets of triceps…that seems like a lot, doesn’t it…well, it is, at least for me…I haven’t done that many sets of chest since my college days at East Halls Gym at Penn State…this was all done in about 45 minutes…the high school and college kids who do this much volume take about 4 hours…you know what though, I’m sore as shit today and my chest has expanded 3 inches…So, there’s your free tip — change shit up, do different things, get out of your comfort zone…and stop holding on to the fucking treadmill…

Lastly, I greeted and spoke with 473 complete strangers the other day at work…who says I don’t like people…

Did I Ever Mention…

…how much I love refereeing…District finals, 195lbs…so glad I was part of this viral video…a shame we can’t get footage of what happened afterwards…I actually feared for my life for about 10 seconds thinking I might get stabbed…..too many horror movies I guess….

Falcons…

…the ‘assaulter’ won the match by the way…not after that though…

(I really hope you guys can open this huge 7 second video…it doesn’t appear on my end that you can…I suck at technology…sorry…)

 

 

 

2017 Fitness Update…

Since this is supposed to be a ‘fitness’ blog, I thought I’d take a few minutes here to update you on all the New Year’s fitness resolutions I’ve noticed the past 27 days.  Lots of different and interesting stuff out there…

People continually still…

  • Have no fucking idea how to exercise.
  • Don’t care to learn how to exercise correctly and efficiently.
  • Feel the need to hold on incessantly on treadmills and stairmasters.  Yep, cranking the incline up to 26% on the ‘ol treadmill while grasping the display monitor in front of you is absolutely correct and a huge calorie burner.  Take your hands off for 10 seconds and see what happens.  Same goes for the underhand hold on the stairmonster.  Read my book, I go into more depth on this technique there.
  • Lift weights way too fast and not through a full range of motion.  I can spend days on this one…thank God I won’t…
  • Purchase ridiculous matching workout clothes hoping looking good/cool will translate into losing weight, getting stronger, increasing flexibility, or whatever the fuck else they’re trying to accomplish.  Doesn’t work like that dumb-ass(es)…
  • Stand around and talk way too much to each other when they should be exercising.  At least jump on the bike at level 1 and pedal for a few minutes.  Or better yet, hop on the treadmill, push the ‘up’ incline button continually until it maxes out and then take your hands and….you know the rest of the story…
  • Carry around gargantuan water bottles for no apparent reason.
  • Fail to break a sweat even though they’ve been at the gym over an hour now (how is that possible…if you’re actually exercising..)…
  • Invent exercises which have no purpose and couldn’t begin to tell ya why they are performing them and what muscle groups they’re supposed to be engaging.
  • Wear full-length ‘leggings’ under shorts.  Guys only on this one…My God, what you are thinking..??  You look fucking ridiculous…you’re not a professional athlete…and never will be…This seems to be happening more and more…thanks Under Armour for introducing this fine piece of apparel…
  • Show up with…

Okay, okay, you get the point…no need to go on…looks like 2017 is shaping up to produce the same kind of results/characters as 2016 and 2015 and 2014 and…This is shocking to me as I really thought this was the year America turned it around and got their act together fitness-wise…Yeah right…I’m not holding my breath on this one…

Alright, got that out of the way…On to more important shit…I thought the other day about the fact that this was going to be the first weekend in about 5 months where there will be no football to watch and enjoy…and I kind of got a bit depressed…but only for a few minutes…Remember, sports are great…I gave you a few examples why earlier in this blog…Here’s another big reason…

I purposely left out his lower body as his sneakers, and especially, his socks, aren’t to my liking in this outfit…love the shirt and headband though…

How can anyone not like this guy?  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person say, ‘Yeah, I’m not a big fan of that Federer guy’…or something of that nature.  Never…He’s a cool cat on the court and although I’ve never personally hung out with him, I’m thinking he’s pretty cool off the court as well…I’ve never played competitive tennis, but know an artist on the court when I see one…He’s a joy to watch and hopefully he can win 3 more sets early Sunday morning to claim another Grand Slam title against his arch-rival Rafael Nadal (why him, of all people..)…Great sports story even if you’re not a tennis fan…As well as the William’s sisters making the finals on the other gender’s side…I’d like to see big Sis Venus spank (not literally) little Sis Serena in this one…

The other reason was this guy…

Oh God, where the fuck is that going…..

…and the expression tells it all…Tiger is scheduled to play the next 4 out of 5 weeks barring injury, I guess…For golf fans, even those who dislike Tiger, this is what we want…When Tiger’s playing, ESPN is scrolling his updated score across the bottom of the screen constantly…How about when World #1 Jason Day, or Jordan, or Rory, or Phil are playing…PPP-leaseeee…tune into Sportscenter 20 minutes in, watch 2 great shots they hit on highlights, and then find out their score for the day…Like it or not, Tiger moves the needle, but unless he shoots 66 today (came in with a dazzling 76 yesterday..), the needle will be dry over the weekend because Tiger won’t be joining the field and will be flying to his next tournament still wondering how the fuck to keep his ball in the fairway…And I’ll be severely disappointed…

Clemson/Alabama a few weeks ago…how great was that (Congrats again Paul)…Another prime example of why we love sports…no need for further commentary…

I had a dream the other night that I couldn’t do one push-up…one God-damn push-up…can you believe that…I woke up and actually rolled right out of my bed to the floor just to make sure all my axons, dendrites, muscle spindles, fibers, and mitochondria were still functional and cranked out 3 solid push-ups…take that sub-consciousness (I don’t know what that means either..)…

Oh, I know I made fun of New Year’s Resolutions a few weeks ago…but I actually made one myself, I really did…It’s quite simple — play more golf this year…I had such a great time playing New Year’s Eve in 30-degree, 25MPH winds that I feel it needs to be replicated more in 2017…Dancing around like Justin Bieber listening to my I-pod (while playing) is something no one needs to see besides myself though…Only true ‘readers’ will get that reference…

Lastly, who the fuck orders a chocolate milkshake with extra whip cream to drink at 6:05 in the morning…

Thus concludes my 2017 fitness update…

 

 

Year number 2017 has begun…

…So I went shopping for a new pair of casual black shoes this afternoon to wear to all the casinos, cigar bars, strip clubs and hostels I visit throughout the year. I had a gift card from Macy’s, so I decided to take my ass over to the fabulous Dulles Mall minutes from my house. Let me get this out there first: like most cool, heterosexual males, I don’t enjoy shopping one bit. My goal is to get in and out of there as quickly as possible while still purchasing what I set out to purchase. God forbid I have to visit another fucking store to shop…

Okay, so after wandering around for about 10 minutes trying to find the “men’s” department (it’s on the bottom floor, by the way..), I approached the shoe section and saw a plentiful selection. No doubt I’ll find a pair here. What I also saw was an old fucker pretending to look busy while not dropping dead on the spot. ‘Oh great’, I thought, this old bastard is going to pester me the entire time as there was not another soul in sight. So I saunter up to the department and start browsing. They pretty much all look the fucking same if you ask me…the deciding factor was going to be less than 3 digits to the left of the decimal point in the price…an 8 or 9 in a 2-digit number wasn’t going to fly either…the brand name was no factor whatsoever…Did I mention they all looked the fucking same..?? Well, the exact opposite happened as to what I was expecting…the old geezer wanted nothing to do with me…never said a word until about 5 minutes in as I had to come within 4 feet of him to look at 8 more pair of the same looking shoes…he then throated, ‘you doing okay?’ Hell yeah, just keep ignoring me until I ask you to go fetch me a few pair of the same looking shoes…I found this a bit strange as I assume this guy is working on some sort of commission and should be thrilled to have something ‘real’ to do…perhaps I’m wrong on this assumption…Anyway, I found 36 pair that I liked, but asked him for one specific pair to hunt for. He didn’t entirely look annoyed when I interrupted him, which was a pleasant surprise…after a few minutes, he returned empty-handed and informed me that ‘the system’ said they don’t have them. Okay, strike one…I found 2 others that looked the same in my price range, so I bugged him again. This time, after 180 seconds or so, he came back with 2 boxes. He gave me the boxes, informed me he also had a size 8.5 in one of the styles, returned to pretend to do something, but most importantly, left me alone. I tried on the shoes and determined the (size) 8 felt good (I usually take an 8.5 though..), but I should probably ask for the 8.5 just to be sure…so this made Ronald (his name tag at least said that..) put a few more steps on his Fitbit (God no, he wasn’t wearing one..) searching out my request. They turned out to be a bit loose, so I decided on the 8’s. Not too bad, I think this whole process took about 13 minutes thus far. I told my servant my request to purchase and he led me to the register. I could tell I totally fucked him up as I handed him my $50 gift card. He blankly looked at it for a second trying to process how to proceed on his touch-screen. The shoes (which looked the same as some others) were regularly $90, but were on sale for $79.99 (not $80, $79.99..). I decided to not use my other $50 gift card and pay the rest in cash. Poor Ronald was totally screwed now…He managed to get the gift card through and then asked if I had a Macy’s card…DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A FUCKING MACY’S CARD RONALD…that was a negative, but I can tell by his screen that it still gave me the extra 15% discount…sweet, I’ll take it…now I owed him $22.07…I gave him $25…’Gosh-darn-it’ was the next thing I heard as something was not letting him proceed on his screen…Perhaps it figured out I didn’t possess an all-important Macy’s card…a few more minutes passes as Ronald used the same 3-syllable slur a few more times…I totally expected him to have to go and find someone to help him, but my man came through by cancelling the initial transaction and then processing the store’s Macy’s card first, followed by my gift card. Poor Ronald then had to pull out his handy-dandy calculator to figure out he owed me $2.93 back…such a sweet kid…Not sure why the register couldn’t do that complex math…Either way, those few extra minutes spent by Ronny trying to buck the system saved me a few dollars…hopefully they went directly into his pocket as he looked like he could use a solid meal…Mission accomplished…new pair of shoes without spending an eternity in the store…

Oh, Happy New Year, by the way…I guess as a fitness blog I was supposed to write about New Year’s Resolutions and starting an exercise program and eating healthy and getting in shape and whatever…why can’t you do all that shit in April or September…New Year’s Resolutions…what a fucking waste…

Okay, now you know where I stand on that subject…don’t ya want to see the new shoes I purchased from Ronald…here ya go…

Pretty fucking awesome, huh…..

#100…

…as I suspected, no one guessed which famous athlete PSU QB Trace McSorley looks like…can’t say there were a lot of attempts either…here’s one more hint before I reveal who it is come March…he’s a very famous professional golfer…again, the eyes are the key people…

I debated about writing this, but obviously the debate was overruled…I have some very sad news about one of my main subjects here at the site…I found out that Barbie’s 19-year old son passed away from a seizure a few weeks ago…heartbreaking, to say the least…I finally saw her back training the other day and again saw her at the grocery store later in the day…She looked sad and out of it for the most part…I just wanted to give her a big hug, but didn’t think it would be appropriate coming from a complete stranger in the middle of the produce section…poor thing, I can’t imagine…

So I had to ref a dual meet this afternoon at 1:30 in the afternoon.  It was definitely an odd time considering the kids wrestling are supposed to be in fucking class at that hour.  Whatever…I show up and the entire gym is marked off by section with tons of banners and shit like that…Something was up obviously…I then met the head coach and he informed me that the gym would be jam-packed with students who were getting out of school early…And that’s exactly what happened…at about 1:15, the kids started entering and didn’t stop until about 1:40…the place was packed to the rafters…I guarantee 99.8% of the attendance had no idea what they would be watching in a few minutes…Metallica’s Enter Sandman blared as the Westfield Bulldogs took the mat, while the home team Chantilly Chargers had AC/DC’s Thunderstruck to welcome them…I have to admit, I was pretty pumped, but a bit nervous as well…and then following a very nice student’s version of the national anthem, I tripped going onto the mat and almost fell flat on my face in front of the entire student body…luckily, my massive amount of dexterity saved me from extreme embarrassment…I’m hoping to get a few pictures of this event, or even a video, to show you the atmosphere…it was pretty cool…I nailed it, by the way…

As for the title of this post, well boys and girls, this is my 100th post…can you fucking believe it..??  It all started back on September 5th of last year…I thank each and every one of you who have read all 100…I know they are few and far between, but even if you only read 37 of them, I appreciate it as well…I can’t promise another 100, but I’ll sure fucking try for ya…Thanks again for the support..!!

Gammar

 

HOLY SHIT (again…)

Did you happen to catch what went down in our country last week…Time for me to give you my uncensored thoughts on the subject….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, there ya have it…it happened, deal with it people…

Following up on my last post about why college football rules…glad to see the Gods of the sport rewarded me and rewarded us with a phenomenal Saturday where the numbers 2, 3, and 4th ranked teams all went down…and 2 of them were over 20-point favorites…no sport can compare people, get used to it…

Remember I said I was going to give you some of my bench press rules way back when…well, I kind of got off-track, but I have another for you today, minus the crude sexual references…If you can only do, say 145lbs, 2 times with a real struggle on the 2nd rep, please don’t add another 5 on each side and attempt 155lbs 13 minutes later…we all know you’re not getting past 1 rep if indeed you get that 1 rep…don’t make your spotter throw out his back pulling the bar up onto the rack…and then pretty please don’t add another 5 on each side and attempt……you know where I’m going….this shit actually happens, trust me…and most idiots who do it have tank-tops on…..

I’ll leave you with this — I saw a 60-year old (roughly) man working out with a trainer this morning with a black wrestling singlet on with a lime-green t-shirt underneath…also, a white headband adorned his head with white tube socks pulled half-way up his lower legs with bright red sneakers…I couldn’t turn away to be quite honest with ya…I would say the guy looked like a former wrestler, but his frail 135lb frame didn’t fit the mold…I would’ve been absolutely mortified as the trainer in that situation…You certainly want to earn your $17/hr (remember, this is Gold’s we’re talking about here…), but at the price of having to walk around with that for an hour…Jesus Christ, what would possess someone to go out in public dressed like that…

Oh, sorry, one last thing — can you imagine eating and paying for the same exact breakfast and/or lunch for 8 straight months…oh my God, fucking try something else…(only a select few know why this was written…and how I collected the data…)

Adios amigos…

 

 

The Empire Ninja…

…remember him/that/what the hell is John talking about here..??  Here’s the cliff notes version:  I introduced this loser back on October 1st and then he made another appearance back on April 1st…today’s not the 1st of the month, but he’s back for the attack…he wore a ridiculous Star Wars ‘Empire Lifts Back’ tank-top, only to be topped by a teenage ninja turtles ‘Crush’ t-shirt later on…he’s almost always in a white t-shirt and black shorts, stocky, fairly strong, might have a decent looking girlfriend whom he ignores most of the time, never does legs, never shaves, never cleans his sneakers, loves to bench press, loves to rest adequately between bench press sets, blah, blah blah…remember him..??  Probably not, but that doesn’t matter…

Here’s what I witnessed this morning…I looked up and saw our friend on guess what…the bench press…dressed in his traditional plain white t-shirt, black shorts, and filthy Puma sneakers…I thought to myself, ‘hey, there’s White’…for some reason (well, not really..it would make sense..), I thought I had called him ‘White’, but I didn’t…Anyway, there he was just standing next to the bench with 245lbs on it…as I mentioned, he’s fairly strong…I did my thing (circuit) not paying any attention to Ninja, and noticed him roughly 10 minutes later pretty much standing in the same place, with the same stupid look on his face, with the same amount of weight on the bar…I literally have no idea if he did a set while I was away…Then I noticed IT…next to the right side of the bench sat another pair of his filthy sneakers…red, black and white Asics this time…that seemed strange to me to have those sitting there…Again, I lost track of him, not thinking much of the extra footwear…Later on, while on a treadmill, I noticed Empire walking towards the locker room with the Asics sneakers in his hand…my immediate reaction was to look to the bench he was just standing by…sure enough, the weight was cleared off the bar and it was vacant…A minute or two later, Crush appeared in my view again heading back to the free weight area…wearing the Asics sneakers…no filthy Pumas in sight…Okay, anyone have a fucking explanation for this move…I sure don’t…Do the filthy Pumas help him to recruit more muscle fibers, therefore, making him stronger…Again, I’m one of the few people on planet Earth that would notice this, but thought I’d share it with you…

Last time I promised some bench press rules I personally have, so here’s the first one…You’re not allowed to bench press unless you can at least do a few reps with 135lbs (1 45lb plate on each side of the bar)…the exceptions are humans without testicles and of those humans with testicles, you can’t have been on earth more than 16 years…Let’s face it, if you’re a boy/male and you can’t bench 135 by the time you’re allowed to legally drive, you’re a fucking wimp and don’t deserve to get down the pants of any human with breasts…sorry, I know that’s harsh, but come on, toughen up boys, put on some muscle, and earn your first piece of ass…..

Okay…..bet you can’t wait for the 2nd rule huh……

Scrabble Winners

I have to admit, I was shocked at how many people were able to use the 6 random letters I gave you — D E I D R E — and manipulate those into the correct name I was looking for — D E I D R E…I guess society is a lot smarter than I thought…Congrats to all those who guessed the winning combination…I’m quite sure there were a lot of guesses and a lot of time taken to figure this puzzle out…

I was asked how I finally learned Barbie’s name…I happened to get lucky one day when I entered the gym to find her at the front desk…I finally got a straight, clear look…It’s been difficult these past couple months trying to get a glimpse at her miniscule name tag without coming across as staring at her huge surgically impaired inflatable chest…Not to mention her long black hair blocking the view most of the time…I actually thought I saw ‘Christine’ one morning and almost reported that to you guys…thankfully, I showed some patience, stayed the course and got the correct name…solid journalism there people…She just doesn’t look like a ‘Deidre’ to me…then again, who does…

Perhaps you’d like to see for yourself…As I was walking by the ‘trainers’ desk at Gold’s one day, I glanced at the business cards (for no apparent reason) and got lucky again and saw the name Deidre Garcia…as you know, I’m a very curious person so I decided to see if this chick is some sort of fitness competitor/model/bodybuilder/etc…I think I looked for her on Facebook first and found what I was looking for…Yep, she certainly is…a proud member of the IFBB (International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness ((shouldn’t it be the IFBBF then..??))…anyway, she’s starred in a bunch of these posts and if you have any of my curiosity genes, I thought you might want to see who exactly I’m writing about/stalking here…Google Deidre Garcia IFBB and you’ll get all your answers…or not…..

Okay, I didn’t want to make this all about my obsession with Barbie, so I’ll throw this little tidbit in that I witnessed yesterday afternoon…middle-aged women in her 40’s I’d guess…on treadmill…incline set at about 75% (that’s very steep)…speed about 1.8mph (in other words, very fucking slow…), towel wrapped around horizontal bar in front of treadmill…hands holding both ends of said towel while sauntering away without a care in the world like what she’s doing is normal…I had to watch this mess for about 20 minutes and then couldn’t take it anymore…What in the world are people thinking..??  Who does this…And you wonder why I don’t write about fitness each and every time I post here…the stupidity of people just blows my mind and makes me want to grab that fucking towel of hers and wrap it around her neck and………..

Okay, that’s enough…you guys and gals have a nice evening…

Go open up your ‘google’ page now……D e i……….